roliana
Real life issues, discussion, and advice

Cancer death

#13392669
On October 31st one of my old close friends passed from cancer, I'm going to his funeral tomorrow.
For the past week I've been moody, of course sadness.. but I've also been angry, so angry.
I haven't felt this anger since my dad was so stupid drunk he almost lit the house on fire. Every time I think about my friends passing it feels like someone is taking my heart and squeezing it so hard it's about to burst. I guess I'm angry that life has taken someone so young who had so much to do. He was 22! He got cancer when he was 19!! I just..
I feel like a terrible person for not having talked to him since we were close back in Junior high (I'm 21 now)
I had been watching his battle for 3 years but I never wanted to be that person that is like, hey now that you're dying lets talk???
Last night I tried sleeping but I couldn't, I kept thinking about him and it just rushed over me that he's actually gone. I'm going to the funeral tomorrow, I'm so emotionally drained just dwelling over this for a week.
Feeling also selfish for talking about me so much.

Re: Cancer death

#13392671


Sorry to hear that.
Life happens and people drift apart because different interest, different life style etc. so don't be so harsh on yourself.
It's not selfish to talk about yourself so much you are going through a hard time and you need to talk! Bottling it up is not good ether. When you go there cry! Cry as loud as you can and want cause i'm sure there are others want to do that. Talk to people! Just go up and chat.
And after the funeral you will still feel down, and feel empty but that's because your old close friend is gone. Time will make it easier when you think about it.
And one thing enjoy life for and make it good for yourself and him!

I'm happy for you to send me PM if you want :)
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Re: Cancer death

 Online
#13392672
I agree with Littleblack.
Allow yourself to feel grief and other emotions.

Blaming yourself won't get you anywhere, but it's natural to feel a rush of emotions when stuff like this happens. Don't bottle them up.

I'm sorry to hear about you friend *hugs*

Re: Cancer death

#13392733
I was with some friends which helped me with the funeral. It was actually refreshing just hearing his family talk, then my group of friends and I went to ihop and had a good time. I haven't seen them in a while so that was good.
Thank you guys...

Re: Cancer death

#13392739
I agree with the others... vent all you need to. Rant, rave and scream as much as you need to at times like these. Cancer sucks and I'm sorry that you had such a young friend suffer through that and being so hard to watch as well.

I'm glad that the funeral has helped with closure as well, and that you were with friends and able to enjoy their company in such an emotional event.

Re: Cancer death

#13392836

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I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer can strike anyone at any time and that's what makes it so terrifying and sad

like evocative enigma said, rant and rave! write out your feelings, it may help


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always nice to have ppl come back!

hi and welcome aboard!!

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