roliana
Real life issues, discussion, and advice

Re: -- Suicide Help --

#12957284
I would not describe myself as suicidal, but I do have a very strong desire to be alone.

I just want to be by myself, completely isolated, on a far off uncharted island, where I'd have all the necessities one should need to last a lifetime, and enough literature to occupy my days. Nothing would make me happier than to never have to interact with anyone. I wouldn't even need internet, or any other technology for that matter. When I say alone, I mean alone.

However, this isn't really possible, I don't think. So the closest thing to it, would be dying.

I don't exactly want to end my life, I just don't want to continue living the one I am now. I keep waiting for the better years to come, but it seems like eternities of misery are passing. Like I'm halfway through swimming across the ocean, in the dead center with three choices:
a. swim back, let the distance I've covered be for nothing, end as a waste.
b. continue swimming, through the unknown with the possibility of never reaching the other side.
c. just give up and let myself drown.

It's like, I've come too far to give up, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to go on.

It's all so overwhelming. Most of the time I wish I could just go to sleep for a few years and hope things are better when I wake up. I so want to be happy, and I know it's possible, but just not right now, because of certain circumstances. I have to be patient, but waiting is so hard.

Re: -- Suicide Help --

#13001667
My best friend committed suicide a few years ago... To this day, I wish I could've offered her some better help. I always told her to go to the counselor, and even took her there myself. But it didn't work. She took her life... I wish at the time I would've known about the suicide hotlines and all that, but I didn't... And now she's gone.

Re: -- Suicide Help --

#13186219
i think this post is great to see
When i was 13 me and my 2 friends watch a guy jump from 12th floor try go for dumpster but he missed it was worse thing to see
and still scares me to this day last thing rember befor hit ground looked at us his eyes where black like and emptiness him before
he took his own life he even had kid he did bc his wife/gf was leaving him for a guy in wheel chair it was really sad
my mom and dad had clean up mes bc worked for place it happen
he grab my mom leg it creeped her out

Re: -- Suicide Help --

#13363789
First off, I want to thank you for posting this! I don't remember seeing this on th old Roliana site, but thank you for taking the time to make this available for us :) I'm sure a lot of Roliana's users have come across this issue in their lives one way or another.

From personal experience, I've actually called suicide hotlines, and they literally put me on HOLD. Literally I got a voicemail saying, "please stay on the line, someone will be available shortly, we care about you." This went on for about 10-15minutes before I hung up.
I think they need to come up with a better system for taking suicide calls... Death does not wait, and each ticking minute counts with those negative thoughts in your head...

Re: -- Suicide Help --

#13386267
I've never called the hotline, I see a therapist now due to an assault that happened while I was in the military. I only ever told one therapist (I've had five in the past two years or so) that I had an urge to slit my wrists. I explained I wouldn't be able to do it simply because I hate blood and I can't inflict harm on myself.
Even if I knew these resources were available when my suicidal ideation (is that the correct term for it?) began, I don't think it would have helped. I was 12 when it started (just wondering if anyone would care or miss me if I dropped dead in the middle of the hallway). Even with my two attempts, and the fact that recently I bought pills to attempts a third time, I don't feel like any of these resources would help me. For me it's just trying to find some reason to keep going. Like since I am in a relationship, not following through because I know he would blame himself. When I was house sitting it was not following through because then no one would be home to care for the cats. It's literally finding any reason, no matter how small or insignificant to some it may seem, it's reason enough to keep going. I don't know any good resources to help others in a similar situation, the only thing I can think of is if you know someone you trust to that degree, talk to them. You may find that they meet you with understanding and compassion, and will be willing to be that lifeline if you need it.

Re: -- Suicide Help --

#13395219

☙≔≔★☽★☽☆♰☆♆⩶⩶∗BEAUTIFUL∗⩶⩶♆☆♰☆☾★☾★≕≕❧

I know I'm necro posting, but I'm hoping @_Haiku_ will add this.

Roliana got e-mailed asking if you would be willing to add the following information or not:

This is the message:

Hi,

I hope you're doing well. I came across your site while researching
established resources and thought I’d reach out.

I’m a team member at rehabcenter.net, an organization connecting people
seeking treatment to the resources they need.

I saw you had a very helpful links/resources section here:
http://www.roliana.com/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=197904 and thought our
organization would be a great addition.

Do you mind adding our page:
http://www.rehabcenter.net/free-mental- ... resources/ to your
list?

Thank you so much for your help!


☙≔≔★☽★☽☆♰☆♆⩶⩶∗CHAOS∗⩶⩶♆☆♰☆☾★☾★≕≕❧[/align]

Re: -- Suicide Help --

#13395235
I think it might be useful if we just made a fresh thread since the original is so old

Re: -- Suicide Help --

#13412309
I suffer from depression and occasionally wish I were dead. And occasionally wish I could make it happen. But thankfully my husband recognizes when I start to think that way. He'll even ask me "honey are you feeling suicidal? I can kind of tell by your energy and the look on your face." So then on those days he watches my every move and does not leave me alone. Not even in the bathroom lol and he keeps me safe that way. So I am very glad to have him for a support system. And a couple of friends who would fly to me if they knew I felt that way any day of the week. I hope others have this kind of support as well.

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