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Real life issues, discussion, and advice

I don't want this life.

#13396303
I don’t want this life anymore, I’m sick of it all.
Let me stress that I do NOT want to die. I am NOT suicidal.

But I don’t want this.
I’m sick of being hungry all the time because I barely have money for food. I’m sick of not being able to get a job because I don’t have an education, driving license, nor connections. I’m sick of constantly having to worry what I’ll have to cut out or remove from my budget in order to pay the remaining bills, I’m sick of having to worry about being able to pay bills at all.
I’m sick of my body constantly aching, and I’m sick of being overweight, yet not having the willpower to do anything about it.

I hate it that I have this brain that makes everything feel impossible, and that things seem to require so much more willpower for me than it does for other people.

I don’t want all this responisbility. I don’t want to be tired all the time just because I I have to go to school, just so I can have a career and not feel like a failure (and so I can be financially independent.)

I miss the days where I lived in a group-home. I don’t ever want to go back, and I can’t, but sometimes I catch myself wishing I could.
I didn’t have to worry about anything there. They provided food, there was always someone to talk to, and they even told me when to clean up and take a shower.
I was legally an adult, but I didn’t have to act like one.

I don’t want to adult anymore. I don’t want this life.
I want out.

Re: I don't want this life.

#13396394
Thank you :slight_smile:

I don't think there's much anyone can do, I just sometimes need to vent and rant until I wear myself out :stuck_out_tongue:

I guess what would help would be getting me to talk about positive things,
to sort of keep me remembering that it's not all bad.

Re: I don't want this life.

#13396395

☙≔≔★☽★☽☆♰☆♆⩶⩶∗BEAUTIFUL∗⩶⩶♆☆♰☆☾★☾★≕≕❧

I can understand your struggles. My family has been poor as well and when I turned 18, we got in huge debt so my dad decided that I should take over the family budgetting and all of that. So basically I got thrown into adulthood.

Anyway. Now ...basically I can't get a job because I don't have enough experience (so kinda in the same boat as you, except slightly worse since I do have the education...) AND if I don't have a job, we can't afford food.

I live with my mom though and luckily she has a retirement paycheck that pays all the bills. But it isn't enough to afford food for the both of us. So atleast we're warm and safe, but ...hungry...

And you'd think that not having food might make you lose all that overweight, but guess again... It doesn't work like that. Because all the fatty foods are usually the cheapest.

Positive things? Try making small goals. Reachable goals. You can combine all kinds of goals, life goals, school goals, career goals, ... As long as they're reachable.
Like: "Get up in the morning" -> reachable goal right? Might seem a silly goal, but when you're going to any version of depression, getting up is usually a very difficult thing to achieve.

☙≔≔★☽★☽☆♰☆♆⩶⩶∗CHAOS∗⩶⩶♆☆♰☆☾★☾★≕≕❧

Re: I don't want this life.

#13396397
I have to say I have a pretty stress fee life, other then moved around a lot and I don't really have much real life friends.


Positive thinking hmm.... maybe each day write down what you are grateful for?
Make a list each day and tick it off when you complete it.

And I'm always here to talk and listen you vent it all out :)
Hope that might help you a bit >x<

Re: I don't want this life.

#13396618
your life is what you make it, only you have the power to change it.
i use to be just like you, i had no job, my education sucked, barely any money.... but i've had many jobs, been through 2 full time ones and about 3 part time ones, it does happen you just have to keep trying and trying, it WILL happen, you don't need an education to get a job, you just need to be careful about how you use your money, i buy cheap food, cheap food is just as good (sometimes better) as expensive food, i love my 39p bottles of lemonade and my 50p brocolli... my cheap chicken, my cheap noodles... YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!

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